if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
