I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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