so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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