I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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