i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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