Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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