i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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