guys are only as good as the porn they watch
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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