she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
