Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize