This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
