I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize