i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
