Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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