1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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