you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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