Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!