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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  how else could I explain the last few years

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

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• (516): View more from New York

  My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.

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• (530): View more from California

  It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO

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