Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Damn. That makes sense

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

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  (610): Damn. That makes sense (1-610): I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems http://tfl.nu/ztoj
  Replies (3) Good night (2038) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny

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  (614): she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny http://tfl.nu/4cwi
  Replies (12) Good night (3109) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.

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  (425): I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/ht79
  Replies (9) Good night (1277) Bad night (3795)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?

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  (416): What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal? http://tfl.nu/1tlo
  Replies (13) Good night (4111) Bad night (1579)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"

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  (720): turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen" http://tfl.nu/kas3
  Replies (20) Good night (8441) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.

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  (919): I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes. http://tfl.nu/2m3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4405) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  the only muscles i have these days is kegels

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  (443): the only muscles i have these days is kegels http://tfl.nu/1pmr
  Replies (13) Good night (4135) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.

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  (814): Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder. http://tfl.nu/vt5f
  Replies (11) Good night (3872) Bad night (1519)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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  (304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8
  Replies (16) Good night (4958) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.

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  (215): Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit. http://tfl.nu/g1ie
  Replies (0) Good night (1007) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.

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  (715): I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out. http://tfl.nu/zox5
  Replies (1) Good night (1090) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?

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  (514): Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew? http://tfl.nu/9nvu
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.

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  (703): Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/t0sc
  Replies (2) Good night (1067) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  "There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."

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  (716): "There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days." http://tfl.nu/ks69
  Replies (7) Good night (601) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class

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  (719): You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class http://tfl.nu/tmgn
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (151)

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