Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but fathers day is next sunday

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet

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  (781): i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day (617): but fathers day is next sunday (781): i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet http://tfl.nu/pxvx
  Replies (14) Good night (821) Bad night (4258)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wrong number and your a loser

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  (215): It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular (610): Wrong number and your a loser http://tfl.nu/k831
  Replies (32) Good night (1244) Bad night (8465)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us

  (205): View more from Alabama

  that didnt stop you

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  nope

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  (252): so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us (205): that didnt stop you (252): nope http://tfl.nu/4max
  Replies (20) Good night (4822) Bad night (548)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined

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  (757): now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined http://tfl.nu/1l3f
  Replies (12) Good night (4011) Bad night (1802)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.

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  (304): I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later. http://tfl.nu/jthu
  Replies (19) Good night (802) Bad night (6103)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.

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  (248): about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me. http://tfl.nu/tnbf
  Replies (9) Good night (3912) Bad night (1023)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.

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  (727): I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due. http://tfl.nu/nv78
  Replies (26) Good night (7011) Bad night (1129)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.

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  (941): Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship. http://tfl.nu/y8rh
  Replies (21) Good night (5477) Bad night (1014)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.

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  (989): I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA. http://tfl.nu/3qxw
  Replies (5) Good night (1829) Bad night (969)
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  (805): View more from California

  I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.

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  (805): I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close. http://tfl.nu/wx41
  Replies (5) Good night (778) Bad night (2076)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.

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  (920): Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/t9h7
  Replies (9) Good night (2199) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?

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  (727): I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening? http://tfl.nu/i8s4
  Replies (8) Good night (1094) Bad night (685)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.

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  (240): I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/cwl9
  Replies (3) Good night (1072) Bad night (310)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.

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  (214): Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars. http://tfl.nu/9ba1
  Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (404)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke

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  (610): And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke http://tfl.nu/9l8b
  Replies (1) Good night (168) Bad night (538)

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