We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
