She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
where does the pee come out of this thing
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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