Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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