in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
