i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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