They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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