just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
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In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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