we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
