So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
