woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
