worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize