she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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