what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
