Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I supernannyed him into submission
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
