porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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