A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
