Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
