I puked a lego.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
