last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
