he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm at about main and main street
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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