just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
don't judge my taste in strippers
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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