here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
