he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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