Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
