you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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