Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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