you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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