Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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