never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
