shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
