You can't motorboat a personality
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
