i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize