been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Drunk is a universal language darling
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
