never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
