Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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