I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
