What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
