i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
