I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is my gift to your gina
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
