I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
this boner is exhausting
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
