New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize